Ladies (and gentlemen too),
Why is it that we decide to keep ourselves in relationships that clearly aren’t “good enough” for us?
I found myself trying to answer that exact question after I came down from a baffling recent experience. Let’s call him Skip*. Skip was a great guy. He was funny, smart, driven and attractive. You know, everything a girl could want, right? That’s what I thought. However, as I continued to grow into the idea of a relationship with homeboy, there were a couple things I noticed from the get go that really bothered me:
- He hated my sorority – no seriously, he said it bored him to tears in a text to one of his friends. (I learned this whole text thing down the road.)
- He hated the fact that I needed time to cool down before discussing things and the fact that I would back off to let him cool down. I’m sorry what?
These things were little things though and I thought I could work through these things with him, but in reality I was just lying to myself. The final strike, when I realized I couldn’t do this anymore, was when two things happened:
- He had the audacity to say to me “not everyone can have daddy’s brand new Acura” when last time I checked, I’m an independent woman and pay my own bills, buy my own things. OH. And my Acura is an ’05. K.
- He got all of my friends involved in this elaborate plan and won them all over with how “great” of a guy he was and then, pulled a complete douchebag move.
What’s fascinating to me is that for a while, I honestly was ok with brushing the things that truly bothered me to the side because I wanted it to work.
But that’s just not ok.
What I took away from this situation are two vitally important things:
- It’s ok not to like some things people say, do, or how they act, but you have to draw the line of what are major cons for you.
- It’s not worth forcing a relationship if you are not at least 98% happy all the time or feel that you’re walking on eggshells with what you talk about or how you act.
If you’re in a similar scenario, take a step back and think about how happy you are. Are you truly happy? Or are you just settling?
Let me know your thoughts!
* name changed