By now, I’m sure you’ve heard of “friend-dumping” — when two friends grow apart and one person initiates a split, much like in a romantic break-up. The truth is, sometimes a friendship breakup can feel even worse than being dumped by a significant other.
If you’re a victim of friend-dumping, it’s natural to feel a little depressed. But in reality, it may not be as bad as you think. In fact, it might be the best thing to ever happen to you.
And I’m speaking from experience here. I was recently friend-dumped and I’m not gonna lie, initially it kind of crushed me. One of my closest friends and I had started growing apart, and although I kept my hopes up that everything would end up okay, it was obvious that our friendship was dying out. One night, it all came to a head over a single conversation. What started as an attempt to talk through our differences led to a semi-blowout. In the midst of it all, my (ex-)friend dropped the harshest truth bomb:
“I don’t want to be your friend.”
It stung. I blinked out a stream of tears as those words repeated over and over again in my head. I felt like I had done something wrong, like I was the one at fault.
But when I really thought about it a few days (and a few tears) later, I realized I wasn’t in the wrong. Even though my friend could have sugar-coated his statement for the sake of my feelings, he wasn’t technically in the wrong either. People grow apart, and that’s okay. In fact, being friend-dumped can actually be a blessing. Here’s why.
You can focus on yourself
If you are let go by a close friend you’re used to hanging out with on the reg, it can be a big adjustment to stop hanging out with them. But really, that just means you can start doing things by yourself — whatever you want, whenever you want. Learning how to do things alone is actually very healthy and will make you a stronger person (trust me). Plus, it gives you way more freedom. You can pick where to grab dinner or drinks and take as long as you want to get ready without anyone complaining. Enjoy that freedom, girl. You deserve it.
You’ll stop wasting your time
Maintaining a friendship should not be hard work. That being said, a true friend will be willing to work towards building a strong relationship and sorting out any differences that pop up along the way. If someone is not willing to do that for you, you’re better off without them. Seriously. You shouldn’t waste your precious time and energy on people that don’t have a genuine interest in being your friend. That’s like having an iPhone with 1% battery remaining and a broken charger — useless. Friendships should be sincere, and any person who doesn’t really want to maintain a friendship with you is only bringing you down.
You learn what’s important
And that does not include other people’s opinions of you. That does, however, include respect for yourself and acknowledgment of your worth, as well as friends who respect and value you. You deserve friends who will celebrate your birthday at your favorite bar, even if they hate it. You deserve friends who will check on you when they know you are going through a family tragedy. You deserve friends who will hug you when you cry, instead of walking away from you. Above all, you deserve friends who care about you, who appreciate all that you have to offer, and who recognize just how much you’re worth.
And if a person can’t see what a treasure you are, that’s their own damn problem.