The Bachelorette is back rose lovers and boy have we got a season ahead – men in Santa Suits and kilts, similar flippy hairstyles, perfectly trimmed beards and a hell of a lot of testosterone inside a guy named Chad.
Looks like trouble in the previews for the season as we see Chad start to lose his shit, punch some doors, threaten just about every single person on the show, forcefully poke someone and finally get lectured by Chris Harrison about all his aggro behavior. It’s not just the overly physical bully behavior, it’s the serious violent tendencies he’s masking behind being “charismatic and charming” that is seriously worrying. All I’m saying is, when you see a glimmer of a guy’s true colors, acknowledge it and believe it. He’s not misunderstood, he’s just a dick.
Meanwhile the wonderful tradition of the first impression rose lives on. Jordan, the dreamy guy, also known as a retired NFL quarterback, gets the rose, and the poor guy gets a giant target on his back. It doesn’t help that he’s Aaron Rodgers’ younger brother so the guys can cut him down about being second best, a nice reassurance for their deflated egos. Now Jordan had the best hair in the house so I was automatically attracted to him because apparently our tastes from elementary school don’t change. Once a hair girl always a hair girl, although I have moved on from thinking gelled up frosted tips are attractive.
Anyways, JoJo breezed right by the advice the former bachelorettes gave her: “Don’t get attached to one person right at the beginning” – which is kind of impossible to do considering she’s forced to give out one rose to the guy she felt an instant connection with. Of course the other guys feel like they’re behind and need to catch up. But let’s be realistic here, how many times have you been initially attracted to someone only to find yourself falling for someone else after getting to know them better? Looks are great but it’s the rare man that has all your boxes checked and we all know that a great personality, sense of humor and kindness can make a guy more attractive.
It can be so easy to get tunnel vision, fixating on one guy, putting all your energy into trying to get him to like you and losing yourself in the process as you laugh at things you don’t find funny or stop voicing your own opinion. Therein is the inherent problem illustrated by The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, it highlights that giant flaw in the process (or should I say journey?) to find love. It’s hard to be yourself when you’re constantly competing against a number of other people for the attention of one person. Somehow we never think that just being ourselves is good enough. Maybe if we were smarter, had a better job, made more money, lost that extra 10 pounds, maybe then we’d stand out and be enough. Can we finally break that terrible cycle?
You are enough, I am enough, we are all enough and the sooner we realize that the sooner we can find that significant other that makes us feel worthy.