I recently came across an article someone posted about how this “Not Settling” movement is somehow making people miss out on something good because they continue to look for great. As I read it word for word, I found myself shaking my head and already planning my next blog post. Let me first say that there is a difference between knowing what you want and being down right picky and critical, which I do not condone. However, I still believe that there is so much more to life than settling in any part of it, but you truly have to believe that you deserve it.
For the longest time, I allowed myself to settle in relationships and for jobs that I truly had no passion for, and let me tell you where that got me..UNHAPPY. It kept me wishing and wanting something more, I was on a constant journey to find something else that I was certain would make me happy in life. It wasn’t until I started believing I deserved better that I actually had the courage to find it and I started setting standards for myself.
You see, the thing about settling is that it’s a cycle that you don’t really understand until you step back and look from a different perspective. You accept something that might not be what you truly want or deserve, you convince yourself that it’s what you need, but you continue to be unhappy. What happens after that? You start blaming everyone and everything around you or even worse you start making excuses for people. You don’t take accountability for the part that YOU played in this because after all, this is what you settled for.. right?
I was one of those people; I was so guilty of doing just that. I settled for jobs I really didn’t have a passion for because I was convinced that was all that life had to offer me. I settled for relationships with people who gave 30% while I gave 70%. I settled for being an option while I made others a priority. I settled for friendships where I couldn’t trust how they talked about me behind my back. Then one day I woke up and decided it was time to quit blaming everyone else and create my own happiness.
The girl that once settled decided she wanted more out of life, she decided to start a new chapter in her story. She quit letting her fears control so much of her life and she believed that she deserved more and BETTER. She quit settling for relationships that made her feel like an option and if they weren’t there 100%, that wasn’t good enough anymore. She refused to be treated like an option when she knew could be a priority. When she didn’t feel fulfillment in her job, she took a chance and went for a career. She knew her dreams were realistic, even if she was the only one who believed in them. Settling to her meant giving up on everything she knew she deserved in life. She had a lot of doors closed in her face, but she learned how to open windows.
You can read 100 quotes on Pinterest or all the motivational self help books you want, but when you really and truly believe in your worth that’s when you stop settling. I know exactly what I want, and if that makes me a stubborn pain in the butt then so be it. Maybe I feel so strongly about this because I once settled for so long, but I promised to never ever be that girl again. If whatever situation I’m in doesn’t have my whole heart, then I’m out of it. If someone wants to walk out of my life, then so be it I don’t have time to make excuses for people anymore and convince myself that it will get better. Life is too short to spend wishing that it were something more than what you’re making it.
To all of you twenty somethings, I hope you refuse to settle for anything mediocre. I hope that you see you are worth so much more and owe it to yourself to create happiness in every area of your life. In 10 years I want to look back and know I fought like hell for the things I wanted because the only thing that scares me in life is settling for something that doesn’t make me happy. You only get one chance at this thing called life and I encourage you to make the most of it.