So I’ve spoken about getting through breakups and finding yourself in the process, and now I want to tell you about how I found my current boyfriend: Tinder. We’re not ashamed we met through Tinder, if it was a game we’d say we won. So we’ve sat down together and reviewed some questions we thought may be relevant to other Tinder users who are one swipe closer to finding someone who’s worth it. #swiperight
What did you want out of Tinder to begin with?
Him: I wanted to meet somebody and not have to go to a bar
Her: Literally no idea. None.
What were the red flags during the swiping process?
Him: Not having profile info, lack of a full body picture, and any picture that was purposefully revealing
Her: I really found the drinking pictures to be distasteful. I just am not attracted to someone who is sloppy or only looking to get drunk on the weekends.
What were attractors?
Him: Honesty, I wasn’t looking for someone who was trying to hide something
Her: I was looking for someone who just radiated happiness. I can only fit low-drama people in my life these days, and I theorized that if I could just find someone who is incredibly happy, I would also likely find someone who is low on the drama scale. Thus far, I think I nailed that theory.
Why did you swipe right?
Him: Both physical and mental attraction. I could tell she was smart and intelligent. I thought she was badass, and that she was on par with me and that we could have fun together.
Her: I knew he was at least decently intelligent given the education info in his bio. What really hooked me was how truly happy he looked in his pictures. You really can’t beat someone who is radiating happiness (and also happens to be incredibly attractive #justsaying)
Once you started talking…
Him: You can get past the pictures pretty quickly with the text – syntax is everything. Right away I knew she was intelligent. I also really valued that she asked me good questions.
Her: I was shocked by how comfortable he was with sending me not only these novel-length texts, but how insightful and intelligent they were. He wasn’t afraid to have a real meaningful conversation right from the get-go. He was also just really happy in the texts, using a lot of exclamation points and such. I find that guys tend to underplay their interest or excitement, so it was just a refreshing change. I also really enjoyed that we only ever sent one text a day to each other. It was once a day, but it was super long and incredibly thought-provoking. It was perfect because I didn’t have my phone buzzing constantly or interrupting my work, but I was still able to have these great conversations
Describe the first date…
Him: were you nervous? No, not really. I wasn’t nervous; I was very happy to able to finally meet her. Right away I could tell she was cool and I enjoyed our conversations. I wasn’t going to try and make a move, but I invited her back to my place to share my artwork with her because I knew it was something that she could understand. Nothing felt forced. I didn’t feel like we were interrogating each other during our conversations, we were merely sharing ourselves.
Her: I had a day of an inordinately amount of embarrassing things happen to me: I parallel parked like an idiot at the restaurant that he was waiting at outside, for the love of god I couldn’t hold my chopsticks right and reverted to using my hands, I spilt tuna on my dress which left a sizable stain, and I ordered wine incorrectly. Least to mention it was hot so I was definitely sweating and my hair did some crazy shit. Yet the whole time, I still couldn’t get over how awesome his eyes/smile were and how fun our conversations were. I think this also put me in a “fuck it” position because I had made so many atrocious “mistakes” so I was way less inhibited to just say whatever I was feeling/thinking. When he invited me back to his place, I totally thought it was some mastermind plan to make a move and I’d have to fly out of there (the whole drive over I was thinking of news headlines for the idiot girl who went back to her tinder date’s house), but then he just showed me all this cool art that made me forget my fears and we had a really great night that ended with a great first kiss!
What do you have to say to current tinder users:
Him: Don’t be superficial. Also, don’t listen to your friends who say tinder is a waste of time, you can make it meaningful if you don’t make it fake.
Her: Just to be honest with what you want from tinder, even if the answer is “I don’t know”