In the movie Frozen, you meet queen Elsa, who seems like she has a heart of ice. Yet you find out it wasn’t her heart that was cold, it was the front she felt she had to put on so she didn’t hurt those around her. My middle name is Elise… so that’s almost Elsa, right?
According to all of my friends, I am the living, breathing ice queen when it comes to relationships. I hate discussing my feelings, would rather make myself busy than deal with a relationship, and have zero time for bullshit. People question why I am so harsh and I always shoot them a smirk and say “Don’t mess with the ice queen.”
However, ice queens aren’t just born. We are created. Something happens that turns us, well, cold. For me, it was during my senior year in college. I was all but engaged to this perfect guy, [would it be too much to say “prince Charming” here??] when the unimaginable happened: he disappeared (but that’s a whole different blog to post). It literally broke my heart. My entire world came crashing down, and I had to be the one to move on from it. Alone.
After gathering all the pieces and somehow sticking them back together, I realized in order to protect myself, I had to freeze my heart. My new mantra became “let no one in, and put your career first”. And it has stayed that way. Since this turning point, guys have tried to place themselves into my life. Some were great, and some were flat out terrible. One guy basically hung the stars for me until he suddenly decided to get girlfriend in another state. Another guy planned a huge weekend getaway for the two of us and ending up throwing it all away two days later. One dropped me like cold turkey because I was too career-driven. The last one moved to NYC, but didn’t tell me until after my heart started to melt because he “just didn’t have the heart.” (HA!) These guys and experiences affirm that a frozen heart is the best kind of heart for me.
However, being an ice queen has it down falls: when you become emotional towards another person, you always expect the worst and can wait too long to un-freeze your heart for a guy. Or you constantly worry that you will have to freeze your heart back again and that they won’t be there when the frozen heart shatters. You know that even when you do find a great person, you can’t stop playing defense, despite knowing that scares people away.