We are in San Antonio, TX still and the men are going into a cocktail party. I’ve literally fogotten everything that happened last week, but not to worry, Ian swoops in immediately and all the terrible things he started saying to Kaitlyn start coming back. To recap Ian goes from zero to asshole in two seconds and Kaitlyn kicks him out. Ian insists he’s too self-aware and too deep of a thinker to keep competing with all these other lame-o’s. While Kaitlyn hangs out on the couch, all the guys sit downstairs and wonder if she’s okay. Don’t all rush up there at once gentlemen. It’s amateur hour until Nick runs upstairs and assures Kaitlyn that HE loves her funny side and that they can have deep conversations later on. Meanwhile Joshua keeps squirming about how he left things with Kaitlyn last time. Nick is too good at the game for these guys and Shawn walks up just as Nick and Kaitlyn are sucking face. Ya’ll Nick’s make out face looks like he’s gotten away with stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.
The guys all leave the hotel and head to the Alamo, for a few of their last stands. Chris Harrison corners Kaitlyn for a quick check-in before the rose ceremony so she can talk about how much of a jerk Ian was to her. After tonight we have made it halfway through this magical journey of love. Another two bite the dust, as my prediction comes true and Joshua is sent home – as well as the Matt Damon-ish lookalike, who’s name esapes me. Next stop is Dublin, Ireland!! Pop that champagne!
Kaitlyn walks through the streets of Dublin, wearing all kinds of scarves and she insists that Dublin is the best place for her to fall in love. This is Joe’s first time out of the country. Chris “cupcake” insists that Kaitlyn is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Nick gets the one and one date and I get the sinking feeling that Kaitlyn is somehow going to get swept away by his terribleness. Apparently they are really drawn to each other, according to Nick. He claims that they have a rock solid connection, and I hate everything because I can tell that Kaitlyn is super happy with him and his face makes me want to vom. All I can notice is that Nick has a tendency to put his hand in front of his mouth when he’s talking to Kaitlyn, which I seem to recall is body language for LIARS. Kaitlyn is worried that her relationship with Nick is too passionate.
The next date card comes in and we find out that Joe and JJ are going on a two-on-one date. Too bad Kaitlyn’s gross sex with Nick is going to overshadown that drama. Speaking of, Kaitlyn gives Nick the rose during their dinner which was essentially ust a make-out fest and then invites him back to her hotel room with her michevious face. They alternate between shots of Kaitlyn and Nick making out with Shawn and Jared talking about how there’s still something about Nick they don’t know. The next morning Nick mentions to the guys that he went back to Kaitlyn’s suite – and he was shocked apparently – and they just sat on the couch and talked.
Meanwhile on one of the more disturbing group dates, Chris Harrison tells the men that they will be having an Irish wake because Kaitlyn is dead for the day. She’s laying in the casket while the guys have to make whiskey toasts to her. The guys make some good rhyming toasts, Cupcake sings a song and poor Ben Z. makes everyone leave the room because his mom died and this is REAL for him. After the weird coffin stuff, Kaitlyn gets some nighttime chats with the guys. She has good conversations with all the guys but gives the group date rose to Jared because they looked at the moon together. Then they wander into a church for a private concert by The Cranberries.
Shawn B. gets very emotional and starts talking to a production member about how hard of a time he’s having watching Kaitlyn go off with other men. Apparently they stayed up all night talking in his bed too for six or seven hours and she told him that he’s it and he’s the one. After the date he goes up to her hotel room and she starts getting nervous that he’s there because he found out about Nick. We’re left with another cliffhanger and see some scenes for next week with every man crying and the dramatic two one one date is still to come between Joe and JJ. See you next week for some totally legitimate man tears and more shots of Kaitlyn holding her head in her hands because she got gross with Nick.