This week we’re back at the mansion as Kaitlyn confronts Clint for having way too many red flags. Clint is feeling like he’s ready to make a few power moves tonight, and then talks about how great of a guy JJ is…and so is he by the way. Clint has been nothing but nice to all the guys in the house, according to him. Also honesty scares him. Here’s some honesty – he’s so full of it that Kaitlyn can’t even stand herself. She tells him that she’s done because she can’t trust him, she’s trusting her gut that Clint is not her husband. When Kaitlyn tells everyone that Clint has to leave, JJ turns on him demanding an apology for “emotions” – whatever that means. I wish I could demand apologies for random things. I’d like an apology for “humidity” or “slow elevators” whenever there’s time. Clint and JJ then have a weird private moment where they get in each other’s faces and curse about how they told each other things they’ve never told anyone else. Clint’s final insult – “hey, that tie goes really well with your shirt” but he said it in a negative tone so you know it was sarcasm and meant to hurt. Then Clint has to leave and JJ cries in a garden all alone, then slaps himself in the face muttering “son of a bitch, suck it up.”
The guys mutter about how epic the breaking up of the bromance was and everyone is mad he threw his ‘friend’ under the bus. Let’s not forget the phrase he’s decided to live by – “let a villain vil.”
Let’s move on to happier things…like a rose ceremony. Chris Harrison inserts himself into the room like a champ and reminds them all that yes, it’s time for roses. But wait, Kaitlyn pulls Chris aside and asks him a secret question, saying that she feels it’s what’s right in her gut. Surprise! No one is going home and they’re leaving the mansion forever, and starting their journey of love in NYC! I’ll pass.
“Let’s keep our love fresh” is the first group date card and JJ is on the date. Let the drama commence. They all show up at some kind of studio and Kaitlyn brings in her fave hip hop legend, Doug E. Fresh. Who is apparently a hip hop legend, and he drops the bomb that the men are competing in a rap battle. So basically this is a verbal fight rather than a physical fight. Good thing JJ is on this date – because it’s easy to make fun of him.. Although Shawn makes a good point about making fun of Justin’s hairstyle. Nick is in the very back of the crowd when Doug E. Fresh intros everyone for the night, lingering like the creeper he is. The guys actually do a great job of coming up with two liner insults. Among which Shawn gets made fun of for looking like Ryan Gosling, and JJ accidentally calls NYC women “hoes” much to the chagrin of the NYC crowd full of ladies who left work early to come to a sketchy studio by Times Square to catch a glimpse of fame.
Nick introduces himself to Kaitlyn, he’s there with Ashley I. Apparently he and Kaitlyn had talked over social media and he told her he liked the way she carried herself. He then lays it on thick with the line that “just the thought that you could potentially get engaged, and I hadn’t met you in person bothered me.” There are so many things wrong with this sentence I don’t even know where to begin. So I’ll just say that it’s incredibly selfish to insert yourself in someone else’s life because you see they have the potential to be very happy and you think that you want to come in and just blow everything up because you’re a special snowflake and they don’t know what they could be missing. Did I mention I hate Nick? Well I do. He is terrible. Kaitlyn now has to go to the dinner portion of the date with the rest of the guys, and mentions to them that her heart is beating out of her chest ONCE AGAIN, and all the guys gird their loins for whatever insanity is coming next and none of them are happy when she mentions that Nick has returned and she has to think about letting him in the show. The guys put the screws to her a bit questioning if she’s confident in the relationships she’s already formed and then tell her that she doesn’t sound that confident when she answers halfheartedly. The problem here is that she knows what she should do but she’s not doing it. Which is hitting far too close to home with a lot of our viewers at home who have also been duped by that obnoxious guy that your friends warned you about but you decided to go for anyway and it destroyed you and wasted a ton of your time. We’re not here for realism ABC, we’re here for fluffy, fake love in some European city that ends in a Neil Lane engagement ring.
Kaitlyn goes out to talk with Nick and they end up kissing, but really what else is new with Kaitlyn? She tells him she wants to sleep on it and she wants him to sleep on it too. Meanwhile Jared gets the one on one date and he continues to look like a baby werewolf on the cusp of manhood, but in a weird puberty way – not in a hot Taylor Lautner way.
Kaitlyn makes a date to meet Nick at her hair appointment at 3pm right before her date. Surprise! Kaitlyn is getting her hair done by Ashley S. who was that insane girl from Chris’ season. Bigger surprise! Ashley S. actually gives Kaitlyn some great advice about lust vs. love, which of course only makes Kaitlyn more confused then ever. Don’t worry America, Kaitlyn makes the terrible choice that everyone knows is a mistake, but hey, what would life be without a mistake?
Next, Kaitlyn goes on a date with Jared to the Met but she’s way too distracted by how the men are going to react to Nick moving in with all of them. Jared waxes poetic about how it’s her choice and he wants her to be 100% sure, no regrets at the end. Kaitlyn continues to second guess her decision about Nick, but goes into the guy’s suite and mentions that he’s going to be moving in that night, but isn’t going to go on a date that week. The guys are not impressed.
The rest of the guys go on a “let’s play” group date, which ends up being a broadway audition for Disney’s Aladdin show. Shockingly, none of the guys are good at dancing or really singing, or anything to do with broadway. All except Ian, who wanted to show off his talent but the broadway judges felt that his singing was too much singing, not enough connecting. Chris “Cupcake” gets up there and gets reallllly theatrical and it pays off – he’s chosen as the one to perform with Kaitlyn on broadway. The rest of the guys go back to the hotel to bitch about Nick.
Kaitlyn and Chris walk on stage and then walk off and that was their big debut. Later they walk up a bunch of flights of stairs to go touch the New Year’s Eve ball and then Kaitlyn gives him a rose. Back at the hotel they vacillate between shots of Nick walking with a suitcase and the men talking about how crappy it is that he’s coming to ruin their time. The episode ends with a long lingering shot of Nick walking down the hallway, opening the door to the hotel room, and saying “what’s up guys.”
Next week all the guys freak out about Nick again and Kaitlyn is confused about why this is so hard. So more of the same, luckily red wine never goes out of style.