Dating is just the most bizarre concept to me. I mean think about it – you find someone attractive, they find you attractive, maybe they made you laugh like twice at the bar, then suddenly you’re making plans to share a meal. That first date is just evaluating one another for either hookup potential or marriage potential. I have discovered that I am one of those people who just wishes everyone could fill out a questionnaire crafted by yours truly, include a headshot, and then allow me to analyze the pool without having to sit through awkwardness and feign interest. That being said, I am trying this whole dating thing out and have concluded that there are 5 types of men that you will encounter during this necessary evil / ritual we call dating:
1. The Scientist
This guy has been on more dates that he can count, and has the art of flirting / courting down to a science. He will impress you with his charisma, but about halfway through the date, you’re going to notice that his lines sound a bit familiar. Be careful, ladies, because he is a trickster. He was probably either really popular and successful with the ladies in high school, or he spent far too much time analyzing rom coms and reading dating forums.
2. The Sex Fiend
Need I say more? This is the guy that you turned down at the bar when he oh-so-sweetly invited you back to his place – undoubtedly shared by 3 other beer-guzzling prince charmings – so he took the less desirable rout of offering up a date in hopes that maybe that would lead to the sexual activity his life is clearly lacking. Do not fall victim to the copious amounts of alcohol he will offer you or the “snuggling” he wants back at his place.
3. The Newb / Rebounder
Fairly self-explanatory, but this guy will tell you about his last relationship – in varying degrees of detail – and will most likely continue to do so if you keep talking post date, or he will simply tell you that he is not ready. My suggestion? Attempt to discover the duration of his last relationship / estimated date of termination prior to the date. Do not engage in the discussion of exes on the date. This is not coffee with your girlfriends, and talking about how awful your exes were will not do anything but distract from the mission at hand, which one would assume to be the act of getting to know one another.
4. The Friend
This is not a bad thing! So you went on a date with this guy and there weren’t sparks, not the end of the world, but maybe you discovered that you have a lot in common or just have fun together. Congrats! You have a new friend! Dating doesn’t always have to be a process of elimination for potential mates, it’s also a really great way to meet people. I have met some pretty cool guys through dating, and I definitely consider that a win.
5. The Ring
I call them this because they have made it past your checklist, which includes fairly in-depth Facebook / Instagram stalking – with or without the help of your friends – and a series of strategically placed mines. Handsome, check. Smart, check. Funny, check. Polite, check. If he makes it through all of your mental / emotional road blocks, keep seeing him! Keep talking to him! Just don’t become a clinger.
I should clarify that I am highly suspicious of the male species, so I have an extensive checklist and an even more extensive system of mental/emotional road blocks. What I can’t discover through social media and/or texting, I will attempt to discover on the first date. I have a system and it is a well-oiled machine of distrust – healthy right?
I’m curious about y’all’s dating experiences and the guys you have met or are hoping to meet, so don’t hesitate to comment below!