Let’s go back to Barry from Magic Wednesday at Sunset Cantina (you know, the only guy to call me “bat shit” to my face?) He told me to stop being so afraid to be seeing one person and if you like them, like them. If it doesn’t work out, you get over it and move on. Well I tried that. I tried to listen to my friends, “evolve” as a person and not play the field. I did it and I want to go back to being a devious and cold-hearted bitch because I got played. Yes, I’m admitting I got played, and I don’t understand how or why, quite frankly. Any idiot knows, that if you find someone who is better than you, you should probably try to keep them.
Let me introduce you to the first and last person I lower my standards for: “Trucker.” Maybe it’s my only-child syndrome, maybe it’s because I’m part Italian, or maybe it’s because the only boyfriend I’ve ever had was pathetically in love with me (who I then crushed), but I just can’t get over the fact that guys have pasts. Once you find out a little detail about their past, you’ve opened up a can of worms. I’m not sure if I’m happy with the fact that I found out about his little Floridian mamacita or not, but either way I found out; I am second to no one (I actually said this to his face once, and I’m surprised I heard from him again). Once I heard from him again, I decided I would get over myself because she’s in Florida, so what harm can she do? A lot, when she comes back into town. I thought that I wasn’t hearing from him as often because he’s had quite a few tragic events in his life recently. That is completely understandable. I never wanted to invade in something personal, but if he wanted me there, I would’ve been there. Low and behold, she’s back. Did he really just side piece ME for mamacita? No, no, honey.
I could forget about it and act like nothing happened since we weren’t “exclusive,” but shame on me for having too much self respect. I finally grew a pair and confronted the situation last night.
A. I’ve been a side piece before. Side piece duties include: late night booty calls…and that’s pretty much it. Yes, you’ll get invited over on a Sunday or weekday, but the conversation will most likely be dull and then you’ll have sex. That’s what you’re there for. If you for whatever reason show that you’re crazy (as all girls are, get over it), they will probably stop talking to you. There won’t be a “talk,” it will just slowly fizzle away.
B. I showed my crazy side two weeks into seeing Trucker. And then I showed him I was crazy AGAIN. And he still talked to me after both episodes; he brought this upon himself. The first episode was when I accused him of having a girlfriend when he tagged a girl in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge video. Spoiler alert: this girl was mamacita. The second episode is when I told him I was “second to no one,” also related to mamacita. WHATEVER I can’t help it.
C. He opened up. BOOM. Men do not open up unless they like a chick, am I right? Side pieces do not hear about someone’s personal life, and they definitely are not the go-to when a tragic event happens. I’ve had a very select few men open up to me. Two told me they loved me, one attempted to wife me up while I was in my prime, and the last was a friend I accidentally hooked up with after too much tequila. That is four, not including Trucker, out of a solid number flings. Stop opening up to people, damn it. Now I’m even embarrassed I cared, that’s so not me.
D. I went out with his friends. Side pieces only see roommates and pets. Do not make me go out with your friends if you are going to side piece me, and then friend-zone me.
Topping it all off you guys, I got friend-zoned. At this point, I think I’m just amused. There is a first for everything and I am honestly shocked that TRUCKER, not only made me his side piece, but also friend-zoned me. I. am. confused. I am confused as to how he chose his main chick over me, but I will keep those thoughts to myself because I know where I stand anyhow. I am also confused as to how HE friend-zoned me. What…just what?
So, it looks like third times the charm when going crazy on a guy. He told me I was really cool and he liked hanging out with me, so he hoped we could still be friends. First of all, I KNOW I’m really cool. But at the end of the day, I am a girl, and a bratty one, so do not mess with me. Second of all, my intentions for you were to never be my friend. I have even higher standards for my friends. Yes, you were just a rebound, but doesn’t every hook up, relationship or fling happen that way to an extent? And third of all, I don’t wear lingerie for my friends.
I never asked Trucker to date me; I love attention way too much to cut off all potential options. All I wanted was to not look like an idiot. Casual dating and hooking up have totally blurred the lines for relationships. Could I have dated him? Maybe. But I think it’s pretty clear where this “rebound” has gone at this point. If there was no mamacita, I definitely would’ve continued this casually, but I am absolutely no one’s side piece. Oh well, off to drive the next one crazy!