When I first heard of Tinder, my exact thoughts were: “Not for me. That’s not my thing.” I am more old fashioned and a romantic when it comes to meeting people. Unfortunately, it is incredibly hard to meet people out at a bar after college. Good luck talking to people if they aren’t with the group you came with. There are obviously exceptions to this, but for the most part, people don’t seem willing to randomly talk to each other.
This is where Tinder comes in. I finally caved and downloaded the app after moving to Atlanta, using it more for people watching at first. It’s entertaining to effortlessly swipe right or left with no consequences. Then, after a little while, I started getting matches that were actual people. The first few were spam. You can’t escape it even on Tinder.
The only good thing about Tinder for me has been the flirting practice. I have been out for drinks once with a girl I met on Tinder, which was fun. Overall, the app is just not for me. As I mentioned before, I am old fashioned and it just doesn’t fit with what I believe should be the dating experience. If I am forced to use it to meet people then I will, but it’s certainly not my first choice. It’s not very personal and it is superficial, though dating apps are gaining a wider acceptance. I try to give my number and start texting with the other person as soon as I can, since that feels a little more personal than messaging on the app.
Tinder led me to realize I may be pickier than I thought. You will start subconsciously swiping left and right for people that have similar features. But it’s all surface stuff. Nothing of real substance. It takes a lot of the excitement and romance out of the first meeting. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw her standing on the patio” beats, “I’ll never forget when I saw her and swiped right.” That’s not debatable.
If I would recommend any dating app, it would be OKCupid. The only reason I prefer this app over Tinder is that it allows you to answer questions and tells you your percentage match with potential suitors based on your answers. This is only marginally more personal than Tinder.
Most of my guy friends either don’t like it or don’t use it. They only use it because it’s where they think they can meet girls the easiest. Dating apps are certainly easier than approaching a person at a bar, which isn’t how it should be. Everyone should be more open when they go out. Just because you didn’t meet someone in college doesn’t mean you will never find anyone.
Being the southern gentleman that I am, I would much rather meet someone out in the real world instead of from behind my phone. Face to face interaction will always win out. If this is the new world of dating, count me out.
I understand the usefulness of dating apps when it comes to meeting new people in a big city, but I would suggest getting to the real world interaction as soon as possible. Don’t tell each other everything before you’ve even met in person. Then what will you have to talk about? A little mystery adds fun and excitement to the situation. People need to take more shots in the real world and just talk to each other. Swiping right doesn’t count.