Long romantic nights and hardcore arguments, I for sure thought… this is MY guy. Mr. Right! My one and only! This has to be love!
Fast forward a year later and the lyrics “If you like it then you should have put a ring on it” are blasting on repeat as I dance around the house. I know I can’t be the only one who loves this song! I mean it is Grammy- award winning… Girl, Beyoncé hit the nail on the head with this one! Granted she did get the ring but believe it or not my left hand is rock-less! Yes, I’m not necessarily happy about this, but should I be upset?
Looking back I could have ended up marrying a jerk! He and I were together for years, meeting each others families, and discussing possible wedding colors and now we are barely friends. I was a bit down about this at first, but I’m young and of course getting married shouldn’t be the priority, but I feel like I wasted my twenties waiting on Mr. Wrong to be Mr. Right… Now what is a girl to do? The right thing to do is to get back out there. I AM a great catch (and an even better catch now that I know exactly what I want). That’s what our twenty-something’s are all about: living and learning exactly what we need and want.
I once heard that dating is supposed to be fun. Why am I not having any of this fun that everyone is talking about? The urban definition of dating is getting to know someone before you enter a relationship. Is it really that simple? Well I guess it is. As women we put so much pressure on ourselves to fall in love and start a family while men think about just having a good time until the right lady randomly comes along. I should be able to do the same thing, maybe that’s why Steve Harvey’s “Think Like a Man” series was such a hit. Dating should be an exciting time full of adventure to allow you to see if someone is worth pursuing, if not then there are no strings attached or you could end up with a really great friend.
This all sounds easy, but how do I really get to this care free place? Even though dating should be lighthearted and enjoyable it’s always full of anxiety. From the moment someone asks for your phone number to picking you up for the first date, our subconscious is clouded with thoughts:
What will I wear?
What if this is it?
Where will we get married?
Will I say the right thing?
Should I tell him I still like my ex?
The list goes on about all of the things we think we should or should not do. We pull out old Cosmo articles on “dating dos and don’ts” trying to study before the big day, when we should just relax. One of two things will happen… we go on the date and freak the person out with our cue cards of interview questions OR we just go with the flow and have a fun night.
The problem is our confidence is shot! We’ve been in love and knocked down so many times, that we are afraid to be ourselves, thinking that being ourselves will cause us to miss out on the next guy. Accepting that no matter what, I AM worthy and I AM a prize is the confidence booster I need to be myself. If I can not accept my own true colors then I will definitely end up marrying that jerk that we don’t speak of!
That’s it! How do you get back on the scene after a long committed relationship? Confidence! Remember what you want and just have fun. Let someone new see how awesome you are, they may put a ring on it!