As cliché as the saying “we need to talk” is, sometimes it’s a good idea to sit down with your significant other and check in on your relationship. Yes, it’s easy to fall into a comfortable pattern of Netflix, game nights in with friends and your usual restaurants – and that’s not a bad thing. What is a bad thing is when two people aren’t on the same page about how they feel their relationship should progress.
If you’ve just started to date someone new, you should probably go with the DTR (define the relationship) talk. How has your relationship been going so far? Are you two exclusive? Can you introduce him as your boyfriend without it feeling strange? Keep in mind these conversations shouldn’t sound like an intense interrogation, just focus on what’s foremost on your mind and let your partner in on what you’re thinking. Who could forget the moment Rory and Logan DTR’d?
If you’ve been with someone a while, maybe it’s time for the moving in together talk. Figure out if you think it’s the next step and you’re both ready and excited for it. How will you get out of your current leases and what’s your timeline? Talk about an area that would be good for both of you when it comes to commutes to work. How will you split up your finances? Do you have opposite sleeping schedules? Is one of you a lot messier than the other? These are all important things to discuss before entering into a binding agreement like a lease together. Keep in mind that you may have little habits that will conflict and it may cause some silly couple fights – like these:
If you’ve been living with someone for a good bit of time, you really should have an engagement/marriage conversation. Now, this is not a scary conversation about nailing down wedding dates and delivering timeline ultimatums about proposals. Although if you’ve been with Ben Affleck for seven years and are sick of him dragging his feet, you could have the below convo:
This should be a conversation about whether or not the two of you even see marriage in your future, or if you don’t want to even broach that – about where you two are going in the long run. If one person gets a dream job in a different city, should both of you move? Do you have a fundamental difference of opinion about wanting a family? Do you have the budget for a wedding in the next couple years?
Knowing that you are on the same page as your significant other can really help relieve any relationship stress you may be having. When in doubt, just talk it out!