Recent events in my life have led me to discover what I believe to be the biggest obstacle to dating for twenty-somethings; games. The constant game playing has has turned dating into a chess match. “I can’t text him back for 3 hours. I have to make him wait.” “I just don’t think I want a relationship right now, but I want to keep hanging out with her.” Our inability to open up, let our guard down and be genuine with each other has ruined dating more than Tinder ever could.
You can’t be afraid to take chances and put yourself out there. Being genuine and honest goes a lot further than you think. It allows you to form an actual connection that game playing doesn’t. Dating isn’t about out smarting each other. You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t invest in other people. I understand that it’s easier for some than others to open up, but that doesn’t mean you have to play mind games with the other person, letting them agonize over every little conversation and text.
This is not specific to guys or girls. It is everywhere. Seemingly everyone does it. I have never understood it because it is rare than anyone ever wins. Instead, people lose their minds, misinterpret and assume until both people have no chance at a real relationship. I have had much better experiences by being myself versus trying to gain control of the other person. We just have to go with the flow. No more not texting back to quickly because you want to make them wait. No more keeping people at an arm’s length when you actually really like them, but don’t want them to think you do. It has to stop.
I have never personally understood why we feel the need to play games and why some people seemingly love every minute of it. I think it all comes down to control. We are afraid to lose full control of any situation we are in. We never want to put ourselves out there because we fear rejection. What’s that quote? “Nothing worth having comes easy.” Dating is hard enough and game playing doesn’t make it any easier.