We are herd animals, we hang out in packs and it’s in our nature to do things together. We work together, we grow together and we ultimately thrive together. It is embedded in our DNA to grow and find a mate to be together with for the rest of our lives. We are consequently so afraid to be alone we even go to the bathroom together, who started this!?
There are people who prefer to be alone and that’s completely okay, but if you’re like me the concept of doing even the most mundane tasks like grocery shopping alone is unheard of. I won’t be hesitate to admit I was in a sorority I lived with 63 girls I never even had the option of being alone. Post sorority I lived with 6 roommates and we were absolutely inseparable. I am sure there are many people out there who, like me, have spent a vast majority of their existence doing life activities in groups.
This is all great, being with people is comforting and fun, but sometimes it is beneficial to spend some time alone. I spent the past weekend house sitting in Seattle WA. Where I hardly know a soul and am unfamiliar with the area. All through college and my young adult life I have had people by my side to take part in all my activities. In my past 22 years there has rarely been a time I willingly stepped out of my comfort zone and had a day solely to myself.
So I took the opportunity while house sitting to get out in a new city and explore completely on my own. I first went to a coffee shop, got a latté, sat down and hardly knew what to do with myself, where to put my hands, where to look ect… It felt so strange being alone. I looked at my phone for something interesting to happen, nothing. I drank my coffee in silence and began to really observe my surroundings. Something I haven’t taken the time to do in quite awhile.
I then proceeded to walk to a park, sat on a bench and took a moment to be. I didn’t need to hold a conversation with anyone. I didn’t need to be anywhere at a specific time. I had the bench as along as I wanted and I wasn’t being held responsible for anyone else’s enjoyment of the moment on the bench besides my own.
This was invigorating, at first I felt awkward and unsure, my head spinning with thoughts of people probably starring at me all alone wondering what I was doing there by myself, when in reality no one gave a f**k about me being there alone. If anything more attractive guys looked my way and I was able to go about my day completely on my own clock and my own compass.
This day to myself inspired me. I have always hated doing things alone, but once I was forced to get out there I genuinely enjoyed it. Spending time alone and out and about is good for us. It’s good to feel a little unsure and try new places, there’s a chance they might suck, but they also might be your next favorite place.
So go out and smell the roses. If you’re like me and feel a sense of security while being in a pack, knock it off. You are in your twenties and it’s time to focus on yourself and what you like every now and then with have no outside influence.