There is no better feeling in the world than being in love. It is an all-encompassing rush of endorphins and ear-to-ear smiling and food that you swear tastes better than it used to. Finding the right guy (or gal) is hard enough, so when we finally do it’s a shout-it-from-the-rooftops, hallelujah-chorus, go-tell-it-on-the-mountain moment.
Social media gives us the opportunity to share virtually every aspect of our lives with as many people as we choose, so posting a cutesy couple picture often ranks high on the New Boo To-Do list. Unfortunately, this same rush to the altar of Instagram is the same reason why many of our relationships fail much faster than they should.
The thing that many of us forget is that when we share some piece of our lives online, we immediately make that piece available for public consumption. In other words, we are giving other people permission to offer thoughts, comments, judgments, and critiques of everything that we do. The same holds true for our relationships. As soon as we introduce #bae to our family, friends, and followers, he’s no longer ours.
I was listening to my favorite radio show this morning and a caller made a point about this that I really liked. She said, “When you and/or your significant other share your relationship on social media, people inadvertently begin poking holes in it. Now your relationship is compromised before it even gets off the ground.” This, of course, doesn’t mean that you should keep your relationship a secret! Instead, just be more purposeful with who you share it with. Don’t invite people into your relationship that don’t need to be there. Also known as, keep those squares up out ya circle, girl.
The other part of social media oversharing that I, especially, am guilty of is comparison. There is perhaps nothing more detrimental to your budding romance than comparing it to someone else’s. Just because so-and-so’s boyfriend buys her roses every day and has love poems flowing out of his eyeballs, that certainly doesn’t mean that your man loves you any less because he doesn’t express himself the same way. Comparison is, and always will be, the thief of joy. Every couple communicates differently. Engages differently. Loves differently. Learn your own love language and forget about the rest.
“Oversharing” is quickly becoming the theme of our generation, but it’s important to learn that sometimes posting every single detail does more harm than good. If you’re lucky enough to find Mr. Right, challenge yourself to stay present in each moment. Take pictures for the sake of making memories instead of stressing about how many “likes” you’ll get. Make small caring gestures for each other that the rest of the world will never know about. Give yourselves permission to laugh and love and rise and fall and rise again without worrying about the prying eyes of Twitter followers or Facebook friends. I guess what I’m suggesting is that when we hold the things that matter most a little closer to our hearts and a little less on our sleeves (read: IG timelines), they become even more precious than we even imagined they could be.