We’re getting to that point, twenty-somethings, where some of us are hitting the middle of the decade, toning down the partying and getting used to that real-life grind. For some of us, that means taking a relationship to the next level (i.e. moving in together). After almost four years, my boyfriend and I are taking the plunge, and that means a lot of things for our relationship and a lot of things logistically. Luckily we are both fairly organized (me a bit more so) and low-key (him a bit more so), so I’d say we’ve got the planning process down so far. Some things you need to consider before moving in with your S.O…
Why You’re Doing It
Naturally, you should make sure that you’re both on the same page and are excited to live together. It shouldn’t be a weird ultimatum thing and it shouldn’t be solely for convenience or financial reasons either. Make sure you’ve talked about it and feel like this is the next step, and you want to be moving forward in your relationship. Not to be a downer, but think about what would happen if the two of you ended things. It’s not unheard of, and getting out of a lease is serious stuff, make sure you’re ready for that kind of commitment.
What Your Life Will Look Like
Think about how your schedules will line up, who likes doing what vis-a-vis cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry etc and have a conversation about quirks and annoyances. If you leave dishes piled up in the sink, will he go crazy or just add to the pile? Does one of you like to stay up late (him) and one like to watch an inordinate amount of Gilmore Girls (me)? As long as you keep your cool, sure you’ll have some little spats, you’ll be fine. Don’t sweat the small stuff essentially.
How Will You Pay For It?
If you both make around the same amount of money, it may make sense to split things 50/50, but if someone is making a big rent leap to move into someone else’s place it may make sense to have them just contribute what they were already paying for rent. Some things, like cable TV might not be split. For instance, I was a diva and got a $120 cable and internet package because that’s how I like to spend my time. I don’t expect my bf to cough up half for something that he wouldn’t have ordered on his own.
Furnishing Your Place
Make an inventory of everything each of you have, and figure out what stays and what goes. Maybe one person has a sentimental attachment to a chair, or needs to bring their guitars. Don’t forget combining things will most likely mean that you’ll end up with more than one of some big stuff. Chris and I will have three TV’s plus one small TV monitor and five laptops between us. Comm graduate problems. Also, this means that the two closets I easily filled up with all my clothes will have to be condensed down to one. Yes, this can also be proportional since I do have a larger wardrobe, but it’s important to make space, especially if you’re moving into an established apartment, not a place you’re renting and filling yourself.
When it comes down to it, you’re in this relationship for a reason which means you should share mutual respect, compassion and a sense of humor with your partner. All stressful things aside, just think about how nice it will be to be living together with someone you really love. Also, having someone else cook you dinner on a weeknight isn’t the worst thing in the world either.