I’ve recently started my Twitter game again and hot damn is it addicting. I forgot how you could get updates on literally everything going on, whether it’s important or not. One tweet stood out to me last week and the article title itself pissed me off a bit; of course this meant I had to click on it and read what exactly makes a woman “wifey material.”
Let me just say, I didn’t click on the article to find out how the hell I can be wifey material since I’ve been single for four, almost five, years now; I clicked on the article because I wanted to hear what certain people expect from a potential girlfriend. My initial thoughts to this? Fuck this (let me apologize ahead of time for how raw I’m about to get).
Let me rewind to my 16-year-old self when Cosmo told me to eat a donut off my boyfriends peeny-weeny. I did it. Why? Because Cosmo told me to and it was a magazine about sex and turning men on, so that was “cool”. In my head I was like “Why the fuck am I eating a donut off my boyfriends penis? I hope this turns him on.” We were together for four years, so of course we were getting a little weird. Gotta keep that spark alive…
Throughout these four years, my boyfriend at the time made me feel like I was only good for sex.
It’s a good thing you’re sexy…
It’s a good thing you have a nice ass…
It’s a good thing you’re good in bed…
…or else we wouldn’t be dating.
Present me would be like, “ex-fucking-cuse me?”
For a long time I felt that was all I had to offer because it’s all I heard from my long-term, “serious” boyfriend, whom I thought loved me. And honestly because of this past relationship, I’m really open with my sexuality. Being open about sex is totally fucking fine. Enough with the slut-shaming, people. I’m not ashamed of my number. I’m actually proud of it. I’ve probably had the funniest, weirdest and best sex stories most people have ever heard. Do you expect me to be celibate because I don’t have a boyfriend? I’ve simmered down quite a bit (to be safe, it’s a scary world out there), but I’ve definitely had quite a few wild rides over the past four years. And that should totally be okay, right?
Guess not. I’m fun as hell and I like to do stupid shit. I’m pretty much down to try whatever as long as we’re having a good time. That being said, most guys can’t take this seriously. Like there is an issue with being the fun chick who likes to party and the wifey. Why can’t you be both? You really think because I let you take a video of me twerking when we were having FUN and dicking around I’m going to show it to your mother when I meet her?
Here’s my issue with not being wifey material; why do I need to adjust my style or image just to appease someone else? If I’m cooking for anyone, it’s because I’m already cooking for myself because I’M fucking hungry. If I’m wearing lingerie it’s because I feel sexy as hell in lingerie and it makes ME feel good. When I put on makeup, it’s because I LOVE makeup and appreciate the artistry of it. You think I rock MAC’s Stone Lipstick so I can look hot for some dude? Absolutley not. It’s a grey lipstick…I look like a corpse. A chic corpse, but a corpse. I’m funny, outspoken and I say shit I probably shouldn’t 75% of the time (probably why I got fired). I’m “crazy” because I speak my mind, but I don’t put up with bullshit. Deal with it. Not every guy has the balls to handle that. Seriously.
Why are women constantly worrying about what men think of them? Who gives a shit? You do you, ladies. It took me years to figure this out, but I realized I’m perfectly fucking fine. Reality is these guys weren’t good enough for me. When I meet a man who’s confident, he’ll be able to handle me. No need to look for it, force it to happen, look for a stupid article in Cosmo on how to get someone to like you. Shit will happen when it’s meant to happen.
*You can tell I’m PMSing since I’m so emotional.