We’ve all been there. Just when you thought a former hook-up had disappeared from your life, they pop back up again. Sometimes this can be a great thing, sometimes it can be terrifying, and sometimes it can be downright annoying. For me, they tend to reappear all at the same time. One week, I heard from 4 former hook-ups. All of which I hadn’t seen in months. It was kind of mystifying. I convinced myself I must have been sending out some strange energy into the universe, but I digress. There are many different types of ghosts of hook-ups past, but here are a few I have experienced:
The one who broke your heart
This one tends to be a ghost you never want to see again, especially if you’ve finally gotten to the moving-on/moved-on stage. This one is also the most terrifying because you rarely know what they want from you and it can leave a lingering fear that you’ll let yourself get hurt again. Alternatively, it can give you a chance to stand up for yourself one final time and tell them goodbye. That takes an extra special type of strength, but feels positively amazing.
The one who’s heart you broke
This one stings a little, especially if you have no interest in seeing them again. Breaking someone’s heart is hard and if you had strong feelings for them at some point, it makes it even harder. It takes some courage to do the dumping, but it adds an extra element of confusion when they continue to want to see you. At this point, letting them down gently may no longer be an option. I’ve had to actually type the words “I am not interested in seeing you again” in order to get my point across. Seems harsh, but I’m of the belief it will help them realize they need to move on.
The one where things just didn’t click
You know when the conversation is good and they seem like a good match on paper, but then somehow things never click? The chemistry just isn’t there? I’ve tried to make these types of hook-ups work before. If we match on paper, we must match elsewhere. But this is absolutely not true. I believe in the power of chemistry and a natural ability to just click with someone. When you’re left with that blah feeling, you can be left disappointed, but it can be equally disappointing when they reappear. You want it to work, because they still make sense on paper, but you know it just can’t work without the kind of connection you need.
The one who blew your mind
For me, this is a ghost I welcome to return. It’s hard to find someone who will truly blow your mind. When all of the sexual gods align and give you a perfect little sexual gift of pure bliss… yep, that’s a ghost I like to reappear.
The one you expected to never see again
You know that guy you hooked-up with on spring break? Or vacation? Or while visiting a friend? Whatever the situation, sometimes you hook-up with someone knowing you will never see them again. But then ever-so-rarely you end up back in the same town, or happen to move to the same state, or re-visit that vacation spot at the same time. However strange it may be, sometimes this can be great, especially if it was a great hook-up that you couldn’t pursue simply because of impracticality. For me, re-visiting this hook-up was a beautiful surprise.
The one from a former life
This one may or may not also fall under any of the categories above, but tends to be a hook-up from either high school, college, or a specific time in your life post-grad. It’s a time in your life you’ve moved on from, so much so that it almost seems like a former life. If you’ve moved on from that life, chances are they have too, which may make for an interesting reappearance.
If you have any other types of ghosts of hook-ups past, be sure to let us know in the comments below!