The friend zone is a lose-lose for women.
If you’ve been keeping up with
The Kardashians latest trends across the blogosphere you will have inevitably encountered this theme.
With all the recent controversy surrounding high profile sexual assault cases, the friend zone has become an increasingly popular topic on the Internet.
Some feel like men use the friend zone as just another excuse to feel entitled.
After all the time I spend with her, I should be sleeping with her. But she put me in the friend zone.
Some feel like they use it as an excuse to stroke their ego.
I am desirable AF and she totally wants to sleep with me. But she put me in the friend zone.
And some feel like men see the friend zone as an obstacle they have to overcome, as if women don’t actually know what’s best for themselves.
She’s such a tease, I know she wants to sleep with me. She put me in the friend zone but I can change that.
Whatever your opinion on the matter, the internet seems to have come to a general consensus: the friend zone is a lose-lose for women.
Because we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.
If a woman sleeps with her male friend that she has no intention of making her boyfriend, she’s easy. But if she doesn’t sleep with her male friend that she has no intention of making her boyfriend, she’s a tease, a flirt, or a bitch.
But I call bullshit.
The friend zone is not a lose-lose for women, and I’m sick of seeing women victimized like this.
With the rising popularity of modern-day feminism, we have an opportunity to change the conversation.
And it’s time we took advantage of it.
I get it, the idea that the friend zone is a lose-lose for women is a welcome change from the more traditional idea that men are the victims in the friend zone relationship. However, this consensus is still putting women at a disadvantage.
No one, regardless of gender, should ever be shamed for choosing not to sleep with someone.
When a woman chooses to keep her relationship with a male friend strictly platonic, she shouldn’t have to explain herself.
Because putting someone in the friend zone shouldn’t be considered a lose-lose for anyone, it should be considered a basic human right.
So instead of writing or talking or thinking about all the reasons why the friend zone is a lose-lose for women, let’s start writing and talking and thinking about all the reasons why it’s a win-win for both parties.
The friend zone is not a negative space to be in.
The friend zone means you have a place in someone’s life and this person cares enough about you to spend time with you without being physical.
It’s a place where both parties can get to know each other on a deeper level without the pressure and expectations that hooking up can create.
It’s a place where you’re free to practice navigating a relationship with the opposite gender without the commitment and drama of being in a romantic relationship.
And it gives both parties the opportunity to learn about, listen to, and come to understand the issues that both genders go through in dating and love without tarnishing your relationship because you aren’t doing it together.
Can it be confusing? Yes.
Can some women take advantage of it? Yes.
Can some men misread the signals and feel led on? Yes.
But there will always be women who lead men on just like there will always be men who believe that putting in time and money warrants them sex.
So let’s stop looking at the friend zone as a battle of the genders where no one wins, and start looking at it as a positive place for both parties to explore a potential connection and learn about each other along the way.
Because in the end, playing the friend zone blame game is only going to hurt our cause and give men another excuse to see us as victims.
And ladies, we are way too powerful to let that happen.