After a breakup, it can be natural to want to start another relationship immediately. The thought of spending time alone and not having that person to go to the movies or out to dinner with can be pretty terrifying and uncomfortable. However, it’s important to use your single-time to date the person who needs your love and care the most; yourself.
I often suggest to my newly (and chronically) single friends that they should try “dating” themselves before dating another person. Spending time alone should not be scary or uncomfortable, it should valued time spent doing things that make you happy and relaxed. When you date yourself, you can spend time alone and use this time to get to know yourself better. Learn to appreciate your strengths and skills and forgive your weaknesses and faults. If there are things you need to work on, like being more patient or forgiving of others, take this time to better yourself. But don’t be too hard on yourself, during this process it’s very important to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would treat a significant other with. Everyone has faults, which may be why you’re single (either because of yours or your ex’s), so take the time to think about things you’d like to change about yourself. Dating yourself is also a time to think about the things that you want from life. Think about the traits you value in yourself that you would want mirrored in a future partner.
While you’re dating yourself, don’t forget to occasionally spoil yourself as you would for a significant other. Treat yourself to something – buy yourself flowers, take yourself to the movies, and if you’re feeling adventurous, go out to dinner alone. Many people are afraid to go out alone because they fear other people will judge them and think something is wrong with them, which is not the case. There’s nothing wrong with wanted to do things by yourself and being able to go out alone shows great confidence.
The more time you spend dating yourself, the more you will start to understand and love the things that make you “you”, and you’ll feel comfortable and happy on your own. People say that when you’re truly happy with who you are you find your true love, but that’s not something to fixate on, you’re already seeing someone.
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous” – Sex and the City.