Hey there fellow rose-lovers, this week on The Bachelorette the guys literally would not shut up about how terrible Chad is and to counter all that footage was a bunch of other footage of Chad being the literal worst, saying offensive things but defending it by claiming it was all just him being “honest” read dickish.
First things first, let’s kick it off with a group date where the men dress up in firefighter garb to compete for JoJo’s affection, poor Wills almost passes out in the hot sun yet makes it to the final round of competition and doesn’t stand a chance. Naturally there’s an actual firefighter in the group and surprise surprise he wins the challenge – sorry don’t remember his name, his time with JoJo was that memorable. Meanwhile Wills gets the group date rose for his effort, but don’t worry ladies, Luke the sexy guy with the great hair, (not the same as Jordan) got some quality time in with JoJo and he looks like a fantastic kisser so that’s a win.
Next Chad continues to roid rage out at the house by doing pull ups with his suitcase full of empty bottles of protein powder tied to his waist with a chain weightlifting belt – oh how I wish I was making that up. The guys continue to bitch about how he’s here for the wrong reasons, is dangerous and clearly deranged. Meanwhile JoJo and Derek (an okay looking guy that seems like he’ll be eliminated in the middle of the road) go on a date of choices and end up in San Fran at the Golden Gate Bridge sharing a picnic over the cloudy, freezing cold, windy bay mmm romance. Turns out Derek and his previous girlfriend talked about getting married but she was involved with someone else, rough life Derek, I’m sure you’ll do okay at the bars after the show finishes airing.
The next group date is at ESPN because sportz amiright? The men are there to impress JoJo and woo her, which happens for the most part until Chad takes a classic page out of the negging playboy handbook to accuse JoJo of nagging him. Which was not even a thing, but of course made her feel like she had to go along with the “joke” to be the cool girl. As we all know this is a classic manipulation tactic to try and make women “prove” their worth to a guy who keeps putting them down on purpose because somehow that’s a cool and fun way to try and get laid. Can we all just take a moment to remember the opening monologue from He’s Just Not That Into You and can we please stop pretending that negging or treating someone terribly is a good way to “trick” them into liking you. Spoiler alert, someone who cares about your well being and feelings is not going to incorporate insults or demands into a conversation with you. I know sometimes it’s done in such a subtle way that we feel like something’s off but we aren’t sure why…maybe he’s just a tell it like it is bad boy who we can soften up a little? Nope, more than likely he’s just an asshole who will make snide comments about your weight, “big” nose, laugh that’s too loud, etc. and then cheat on you prompting you to become riddled with unnecessary insecurity. Let’s stop the vicious cycle please and thank you.
Sadly Chad gets the last rose at the ceremony so the drama will continue on, but not to worry, Jordan and Luke my main crushes are still in the race and are on a whole different elevated level than the others in my opinion. Next week the drama continues with back to back days of Bachelorette, Monday and Tuesday night and the scenes show some escalating violence, let’s hope Chad gets kicked to the curb so we can enjoy what this show is really about, trips to cities in Europe where the men wear matching scarves and JoJo staring pensively out her window trying to decide who to pick as her future husband (aka boyfriend for a few months until she writes her own tell all book).