As a twenty-something female who is very open about being single and certainly owning it, over the course time, I have learned that there needs to be some sort of balance in one’s love life. I know it’s true, I’m always preaching in my writing about how important it is having balance in various aspects of our lives. I’m not crazy, it really is so important! As we all have heard numerous times before like a broken record, there should be balance in our diets, balance with our work and social lives and so on.
As a 21-year-old single gal I have lately learned a lot about my approach to love. For most of my newly turned 21-year-old friends, being single out in a bar or club is the best thing ever to them. Who can blame them? You go out on a Friday night and there is a sea of boys everywhere. Okay, a lot of the guys found at bars/clubs are grimy dogs that are waiting to pounce on a pair of boobs any minute, “let’s just be honest, let’s just be real” (like the song reference?).
So finally having the opportunity to legally go out to these bars/clubs and be exposed to these dogs, ahem boys, I’ve noticed that if I’m uninterested in a guy that tries approaching me, I’m a total b****. The first few times, I didn’t notice how standoffish and resting bitch face I was being towards these guys. I guess having a brother and learning about the ways of boys at a young age, I could read a guy like a book. I go out with the single attitude of “I’m an independent, confident female who doesn’t need a guy to be happy.” Yeah, yeah this is a great attitude to have Fabiana, but this attitude could also slowly build a wall where it’s so high, you don’t let any guy in.
I didn’t notice how standoffish I was being towards guys until a weekend trip to Atlantic City earlier this summer opened my eyes. So long story short, my friends and I were in a club and one of my friends was talking to a guy and his friend starts trying to talk to me. The poor guy asks for my name. My reply? “It’s too long.” And I walked away. Wow, even I’ll admit that was a total b**** move.
The next morning after my friends went on how mean I was to the guy, they had no mercy for any justification I gave. Whatever, I have my reasons for not wanting to talk to the guy. But anyway, I don’t need to turn away any guy that tries to approach me. Honestly, I’m not the type of girl to hook up with a rando and I know that’s what most guys intentions are when you meet them in a bar/club environment.
However, this is where the balance part comes in. For every guy I turn away, there may be one good guy in the bunch that I totally did not give the chance to because I assumed he was like the rest. Girls certainly hate when guys categorize them and assumer we’re all the same, all crazy and so on. So why should I categorize all guys into the same ‘hook-up’ category? This is no way to meet new guys by turning them all a way before they even give a pick up line.
So my fellow twenty-something single gals, have respect for yourself and don’t change who you are. But if a guy tries talking to you, by no means do you have to pull a Snooki from her Jersey Shore days and go home with the guy, just give him a chance to attempt to talk to you. If he makes a fool out of himself, that’s his prerogative and you could laugh about it with your friends later. Just give someone new a chance, you never know you’re prince might be in that sea of guys.