This week on The Bachelorette the gang goes to Buenos Aires, Argentina and waxes poetic about how this is a fantastic city to find love – unlike all those other terrible cities to find love like Paris, Florence, Prague etc. The South American tour is interesting this year, was European travel making people too nervous?
Anyway the bomb drops that there will be another two-on-one date this week, for the first time in Bachelorette history! I’m underwhelmed by this process since I feel like JoJo should just cut everyone except Jordan and Luke and then have a make-out contest to pick the winner – spoiler alert if that happened Luke would win a million times over. But first, a one on one date with Wells! Oh Wells, the only one that hasn’t kissed JoJo and everyone laughs and teases him about it before the date. It was the elephant in the room for sure as the entire date consists of Wells being awkward and trying to make little moves towards making out with JoJo. When they finally do kiss, it seems like a friendly kiss instead of a romantic, passionate thing. Wells says he knows that love eventually devolves from its original passion and things die down a little bit – his last relationship ended because he felt they turned into best friends. JoJo is not a fan of that, saying that she knows people get more comfortable as the relationship goes on but she wants the real kind of love where the passion and excitement stay alive. Lo and behold, Wells ends up going home mostly because he seems skeptical of JoJo’s ideal, optimistic belief in true love.
I can see where both Wells and JoJo are coming from here – you want to believe in that all encompassing love and the person you’re with should make you feel excited and happy to be with them, even when you’ve settled into a routine. It’s hard to be that optimistic when you know that life gets in the way, and you’re tired from your job or kids and eventually you end up taking your partner for granted. I choose to be like JoJo and demand the happiness and excitement even in the comfortable times, because if it’s not there, what am I wasting my time for?
Next the guys accompany JoJo on a group date, aka wandering around town, playing soccer, dancing in the streets and good stuff like that. We get a lot of whining from James Taylor in his interviews about how all the guys are better looking and richer than him and have a better connection to JoJo than him. Mmm that confidence is really sexy James T. When James scores a winning goal on the soccer field and wins a kiss from JoJo he gives her a peck so quickly that you’d miss it if you blinked. Safe to say that he did not make himself stand out in my mind with that move.
Meanwhile Luke is wearing a leather jacket and is looking like the most perfect man I’ve ever seen in my natural-born life. During the nighttime portion of the date JoJo chats with all the guys and gets an earful from James about Jordan being “entitled” during a poker game, which makes no sense and is a cheap attempt to make himself look better than Jordan. It actually makes him look whiny and like he can’t hang. Of course JoJo has to bring this up with Jordan because conflict. Jordan dismisses it and everything is fine between him and JoJo but when he goes back to the couch and sits next to James their flexing chins could cut the tension with a knife. I spent the majority of Luke and JoJo’s one on one time saying things like “Damnnnn” and “How is this man real??” because he is flawless. My mom was next to me fanning herself during their make-out time and if that’s not a ringing endorsement I don’t know what is. Luke gets the group date rose and all is right in my world.
On the two on one date, Derek and Chase compete during a sexy tango with JoJo and try to make the most intense and sexy eye contact they can. Chase’s broad shoulders are showcased even more aggressively when compared to Derek, although it seems that Derek has the edge so far. During their conversations Derek tells JoJo he’s falling for her and she seems to light up. During her convo with Chase she kind of scolds him for not giving her the verbal reassurance of his feelings for her the previous week. She felt like she liked him more than he liked her – Chase quickly tries to rectify the situation by telling JoJo he’s here for her and he wants to leave with her, he’s scared by the intensity of his feelings etc. the same old stuff that guys think we want to hear. Somehow it works because in the shock of the night JoJo picks Chase and sends Derek packing. I’m thinking she made the wrong decision until Derek starts to refer to himself in the third person in the car home and starts sobbing, then whispers “Why am I crying?” to himself. Ertttt.
At the cocktail party Luke is charming and JoJo chats with all the guys. Nothing too exciting goes on until the last minute of the rose ceremony. JoJo handed roses to Robbie and Jordan (naturally) and it’s down to James and Alex – both of which can go in my opinion and it looks like I’m about to get my wish. JoJo runs down the back staircase to Chris Harrison telling him she really doesn’t want to hand out the final rose. Chris Harrison takes the single rose from her and she goes back to face the guys explaining that she couldn’t hand out that rose. Then Chris mother-effing Harrison brings in a silver tray of TWO ROSES and both those guys get to stay another week!!!!! Blech! I get it though, with both gone she would have been down to four men left and it’s definitely not time for hometowns yet. Stay tuned for next week when JoJo gets rid of James and/or Alex because that’s what should have happened this week. On the plus side, Luke wears a flannel shirt and looks hot, so I’ll be attentively watching. Until then rose lovers!