Las Vegas. An oasis in the middle of nowhere — could be anywhere, depending on how much tequila is in those yard-long margaritas. It’s beautiful, really, and twenty-something women love to let their hair down in the desert for celebrations of every variety. But the perfect girls’ trip to Las Vegas requires a plurality of ladies, who, if selected carefully, can bring men to their knees and good fortune to the party.
The expectations of a ladies only trip to Las Vegas are pretty simple: get as much as you can for free, from as many people as possible. Las Vegas validates one of the many quasi truths in our society: that young pretty women are important for being young and pretty. But in Las Vegas, we don’t scorn social indecency — we let it ride! And if you play your cards right, your next trip to Las Vegas will resound in magical experiences, backstage passes, bottle service, limousines, tigers, and who knows what else! So, pay attention! It’s time to assemble the crew!
Every girl group needs a super hot, grade-A piece of booty to bring men down from their hotel balconies and into the pool. The Body has one of the hardest jobs — she’s usually the reason men show up, but she’s also the reason they leave. Body babes are cold and often terrible conversationalist by virtue of their hotness. They’re a primitive necessity that can’t be avoided, and a valuable asset to the party.
The Brain is easily marked by her sobriety. While everyone is taking shots, she is having a relatively good time sober — watching out for the other ladies, making sure no one takes their clothes off. She can talk the group out of a bad decision, or talk them into a worse one if it so pleases her. But don’t let her sweetness be distracting — she’s a girl who gets into fistfights at the bar over feminist theory.
The leader — the girl with more experience than the others. The Boss is spontaneous, the life of the party, and usually the first person to disappear with a guy, and then reappear with someone else. The Boss usually does most of the strategic talking after the Body has pulled a bait and switch. She enjoys making boys cry and believes she is doing the world a service by taking advantage of their checkbooks.
This girl somehow always manages to find herself in Las Vegas when she is in a deeply committed relationship, subjecting her romantic commitment to tests with serious consequences. This gal will usually try to dissuade questionable activities, acting as a drunken barometer that occasionally cries for no reason. Everyone makes fun of her, when in reality, the rest of the girls are jealous of how happy she is.
If a gal isn’t a Body, Brain, Boss or Boyfriend, chances are she’s Backup, which means she’s down to do whatever. She’s there to make-out with random strangers so that other random strangers think they stand a chance and get in line to buy more shots. She adds girth to an otherwise slim girls group. For men, it’s all about numbers, so the more backup in a girls’ group the better!
With this combination, the entire Vegas world can become your groups’ proverbial oyster. Embrace the spirit of life, beauty, and youth, but do so while protecting the members of your group. Look out for each other, and never leave a girl behind! With this secret formula, your girls’ trip to Las Vegas will be legendary, and something you and your girlfriends won’t soon forget.