As we migrate from our college bubbles and into the real work it seems like everyone is taking a look at how people are finding and maintaining love, or not. This year, articles have been passed around that put us, the millennial’s, under the microscope. It seems like everyone, not only us, is interested in talking about how we want to wait to get married, our casual attitudes about sex, and our hook up apps. As a millennial some of these articles are right, but most of them seem to misuse statistics and cause general confusion. So let’s clear the air.
In a world that is full of Instagram, Facebook, texting, Snapchat, meeting people through friends, and constant connection it seems like a lot of the romanticism of “dating,” and the actual dates, have been lost. What was once a chance encounter, and what needed effort to carry forward can often times be easily continued through social connections and proximity. The pursuit has gotten less complicated, the finish line has gotten easier to see, and honestly the race to get there goes by pretty fast.
As we made our way through college and into the real world “dating” was an idea that existed in a vacuum. It was something we saw in movies, and there was the occasional whisper of a date (usually celebrating a milestone), but this was the exception – not the norm.
The reality was that you met, you clicked, you saw each other out, you shot gunned a beer/shared a cup of jungle juice/went to a handles and handcuffs party, traded some drunk texts and ended up at someones house. There wasn’t even the hopeful expectation of being taken out to be wined, dined and romanced.
In the post-grad world there are so many twenty-somethings testing out the online dating scene. Scrolling through the pictures, checking out the profiles and setting up wine dates has become the new norm for the twenty-something generation. We can swipe yes or no, like you are playing a hot or not game, and skim hundreds of profiles searching for commonality – but where is the human connection. You are interacting with technology – hoping for a real connection, but not making the connection. There is a false sense of knowing someone before you even speak to them, there are so many details of our lives and our likes and our passions out and available in the world that someone can know all about you before they say the first word to you. Hello – have you ever seen SVU? Are we supposed to trust someone after ten lines of conversation?
It takes time to discover each other. You can’t fake the personal connection; you can’t make it happen over a screen. It takes face time; it takes action. It takes more. It takes, but it gives too. So when you find that personal connection – grab it. The road goes up from here, and it is a crazy beautiful ride.