Throughout my twenties I have always been more of a cheerleader for the single life than the relationship life. I viewed any twenty-something who was in a relationship as a trapped individual who wasn’t fully living to their twenties potential… No, I wasn’t a bitter single girl… I just always thought that I would feel too much pressure to be a perfect girlfriend if I was to get serious with someone. Now being in a relationship myself, I’ve realized I was far from right.
When in a relationship, there doesn’t need to be unrealistic expectations of a significant other, nor should one feel restricted in living their life. Having a bf/gf in your twenties doesn’t have to be as hard as people make it to be, trust me.
So, what are the key things to keep in mind?
1.Build a friendship first.
I can’t stress this enough as I preach this tip to everyone. I’ve seen one too many people rush into relationships and before you know it, they’re broken up. Why? Because people don’t fully get to know everything about each other before they become a couple. Developing a friendship first allows two people to know one another’s flaws, strengths, their favorite food, and what they binge-watch on Netflix. There’s nothing better than being in a relationship with your best friend, as everything feels so effortless.
I know this tip is obvious but it’s such an important one. Compromising is key to a happy relationship. In our twenties, let’s face it, we’re still young, kind of immature, and a little selfish. Before you freak out, I don’t say selfish like I’m accusing you of being a terrible person. It’s just that in our twenties, we’re still figuring ourselves out and what our likes and dislikes in life are. Compromising in a relationship is definitely not easy, but putting others’ wants before yours is what loving someone is all about. If bae wants sushi when you are dying for a cheesy slice of pizza- compromise. Go out for sushi tonight and maybe save pizza for movie night over the weekend.
3. Help one another.
I obviously pride myself on my passion for writing and want to make a career out of it. When bae was facing wrier’s block or didn’t know how to cite his paper in APA, you know I practically dropped what I was doing to help him with his writing issues. When I’m at the gym and hitting a plateau, you know my bf is right there having (a crazy amount of) patience, showing me new exercises, and standing next to me, correcting my form. Use your strengths to help each other so the two of you could be the best versions of yourselves.
4. Give each other space.
You know the saying, “absense makes the heart grow fonder”? Apply that old expression to your current relationship. Whether you’re trying to build your career or finish school, give yourself “me “time to work and focus on yourself. I’m not saying blow off your significant other when they want to make plans with you. I’m just saying that if you don’t see each other everyday, when you finally are reunited, it’s one of the best feelings and you’ll appreciate that special person that much more.
5. Don’t lose sight of yourself or your friends.
Please don’t be that person that completely shuts out their friends or forgets who they are when in a relationship. Your friends don’t want to lose you when you have a new bae, so make sure to take time to see them. Maybe grab dinner with your group of friends or go on a shopping trip with your BFF. Aside from always keeping your friends in your life, don’t forget who you are as a person. Never lose sight of yourself when with a significant other. They fell in love with the person you are, so why change that?