Turning twenty-five: a quarter of a century here in this place living and learning. It hasn’t always been pretty, it hasn’t always been easy, but it has been worth it every inch of the way.
I’ll be honest, love is something that I’ve always been equal parts obsessed with and terrified by. It’s messy, it’s breathtaking. It’s up and down, it takes you every which way. It can wind itself into the core of your being if you let it.
In twenty-five years, I have experienced amazing love and devastating heartbreak. Every experience, good or bad, has taught me something – and this is what I’ve learned:
1. You can’t turn a fuckboy into a boyfriend no matter how hard you try.
2. You can’t live your life being afraid of losing someone – it robs you of joy.
3. You don’t get all the answers, no matter how badly you want them or think you deserve them.
4. Falling in love slowly is delicious…savor it.
5. Sometimes you can know that you’ll love someone immediately; sometimes you can also know that love won’t be enough.
6. Sex with love is the best kind of sex.
7. Love leaves the bedroom.
8. The ones that break our hearts are the ones we cling to the most because we gave them our hearts to begin with.
9. There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need fixing. You don’t need saving.
10. You have the right to ask for what you need.
11. Don’t attach your self worth to your partner, no matter how much you love them.
12. You may not be ready, but you must always be honest.
13. You can simultaneously be a masterpiece and a work in progress.
14. There are people who will marvel at your madness. Find them. Love them.
15. In life, and in love, you cant be afraid to jump. You may get bruised but you’ll never have to wonder “what if.”
16. Don’t set yourself up to be collateral damage in someone else’s story.
17. Life always turns out best for those who made the best out of the way life turned out.
18. Sometimes you have to save yourself.
19. True love really does move mountains.
20. Love is a four letter word – treat it carefully.
21. Everyone has been through shit. Don’t cut yourself on someone else’s broken pieces.
22. Don’t lose sight of yourself trying to fix someone else, you can’t fix them.
23. Do the best you can with what you have when you have it. That’s all you can ask of yourself.
24. If your gut tells you to run, listen to it. Fucking run. RUN.
25. Fill your own soul. That is the biggest and most important job of your life.
Love is scary. Love anyway. Love is risky and unpredictable. Love anyway. Love makes you question your sanity. Love anyway. Love keeps you awake at night. Love anyway. Because it might make you scream and cry and feel hollow to the core and shatter you into a million irreparable pieces. Or it might breathe life into your dormant soul and envelop you in an ocean of safety and peace and wholeness and shine light into your most damaged dark places and make life the best it’s ever been. So love anyway.